sooooo much going on!!

oh my gosh! this humongous christmas tree gets me soooo excited for the holidays! thanksgiving included!

that thing is tall.

this is what i had to do to get a picture of my brother and sister-in-law in front of it:

in the middle of south coast plaza...sometimes, i have no shame.

anyway, i'm so excited it's finally friday, 20 november! i have so much exciting stuff going on this weekend and next week. i have been waiting since august for our san francisco trip next week! and levi is surprising me with an all day special outing on monday (i'm pretty sure i know what it is - let's just say that it's likely mickey will be there)! and sunday is levi's 29th birthday! and tonight is our first book club meeting!

so much to do.

must not stress.

just keep looking at beautiful, giant christmas tree photo.

okay, pep talk to self complete.

hope you all have fantastic weekends!

p.s. i went to a fantastic tea party yesterday! check it out here.

brrrr!

it's finally starting to cool off around these parts!

at night, at least.

i've even had to zip up my coat all the way a couple times.

i love the dropping temperatures.

(they mean christmas is on its way. yippeeee!)

dinner dilemma

we had the hardest time figuring out dinner last night.

so we went our separate ways.

here's what i ended up with:

for my appetizer:

parmesan fishies

(in the official snack container levi surprised me with a couple months ago)

for my plat principal:

your eyes are not deceiving you. that is, indeed, grocery store sushi accompanied by garlic bread.

and for dessert?

buttermilk eggos and watermelon.

i am not pregnant.

a mind

(image source)

a rational mind

a logical mind

a thoughtful mind

a perplexed mind

a confused mind

an analytical mind

a busy mind

a sensitive mind

a computing mind

a problem solving mind

a troubled mind

a conflicted mind

a panicked mind

a ceaseless mind

a mind that never sleeps, never rests.

always working, synapses always firing, always controlling, always maintaining, always functioning, always.

this brain of mine does a lot. it keeps me going physically, mentally, emotionally.

if it stopped working altogether, i'd be in trouble.

in a sense, my brain, my mind, controls me.

it enables me to do, to create, to breathe, to love, to problem solve, to live.

it does things i have no control over.

but if left completely to its own devices, i'd go insane.

my mind, my thoughts - they have the ability to run free and wild. they have the ability to get me into trouble, to hurt me, to make me unhappy and miserable.

this thing that keeps me going, this thing i have no on or off switch for, this thing that monitors and controls my body without a single word from me, has the ability to overrun me, to take over.

unless, i exhibit some control over it, over my mind, my brain, my control center.

how strange that there is something within us beyond a brain! something that can actually control the thoughts that come out of it.

what is that something?

is it a soul?

a conscience?

an ego?

superego?

our id?

is it just another segment of our brain?

how strange that we really can't say. we don't know. this thing that is the essence of who we are, the core of self, the thing that separates man from animal and men from each other, remains nameless.

mysterious.

unknown.

unclaimed.

and it's ours to do with as we wish.

it's ours to decide what that thing is, and no one can ever tell us we're wrong.

essentially, it's the only thing we can ever truly own or control.

what a great responsibility!

what a fantastic freedom!

what a source of joy! a gift!

in a world so full of outside influences, we have the ultimate say over who we are, what we do, and all that we become.

today is here!

(via ffffound)

it's friday!!!

and that means only ONE more week til thanksgiving is upon us! and then we get to go to san francisco. our very first real vacation together. holler back!

here's my top 5 from the week in no particular order:

1. levi forgot to pay the gas bill...since AUGUST. so we woke up to no gas on tuesday morning. we had to pay an extra $70 to get it turned back on and had to wait til THURSDAY til they could do it. we spent a lot of time avoiding sweating. i've never wanted a shower so bad. it wasn't terrible though...it was almost kinda fun. i microwaved water to wash my face with.

2. a girl at ivy's (my little sister who is a senior in HS) school asked her if her sister was "jasmine from an experiment in poverty." haha! i loved that! it cracked me up. it made ivy laugh too. and to the girl at my little sister's high school who reads my blog: thank you for reading!! you are so sweet!

3. one morning this week, levi told me that i should have dressed up as a snuggie for halloween because i'm always trying to drape myself all over him. sometimes i cuddle too much...

4. yesterday morning, i got an email letting me know that my first class of the day was cancelled. i like french and everything, but who doesn't love a day off??

5. ummm, i had a number five. i really did. but it seems to have escaped me, so we'll just give it to levi. i love you, levi, even if you did forget to pay the gas bill for a ridiculously long time. it helps to even things out around here with all the stupid stuff i'm always doing. :)

have a terrific weekend everyone!

p.s. here's our giveaway winner:

congratulations shauna! send me your email address, and we'll get you'll all set up for your suzannemade gift certificate.

p.s. now i know who the girl at ivy's school is! this is her blog. :)

short and sweet

i'm a little bit tired of my computer today.

shocking, isn't it?

i think it's because i spent way too much time on it yesterday.

so i'll be brief:

1. nigel said "transmogrifier" on sytycd this week, and i loved it. i want nigel to be my dad. i love him.

2. i think russell is my favorite on afore-mentioned program.

3. i still haven't had a shower since monday night. i miss hot water and being clean.

4. i had a pumpkin cream cheese cupcake and a traditional cappuccino for dinner last night.

5. today is the last day to enter the suzannemade giveaway. get your entries in before 6:00 pm PST so that they count! the winner will be announced tomorrow.

6. i love you. have a great day.

xo

1994 was a very good year

over the weekend, levi and i were talking about music we liked in junior high.

we came up with a list of classics including boyz II men, all 4 one, coolio, lisa loeb, ace of base, jon secada, janet jackson, crash test dummies, salt n pepa, etc. we were on a roll.

so when we got home, we started looking up all this amazing music, and we discovered that 98% of the songs were from the billboard top 100 in 1994.

during the school year of 1993/1994, i was 11 and in the sixth grade. levi was 13 and in the seventh grade. 1994 was the year we came into musical awareness...you know the time when you start listening to music that you want to listen to, that isn't the lion king or pocahontas soundtrack. i love that we were in different states and we had never met each other, but this still happened for us at the same time with the same music.

i'm so lucky to have been a pre-teen/teenager during the 90s. you youngsters out there really missed out. the 90s were so original. they make me want to put on a slip dress, some combat boots, some mac spice lipliner, some clinique black honey semi-lipstick, and a spritz of sunflowers perfume...oh wait, that look has already come back. weird!

here's a little playlist i made of some 1994 classics. it's a little long, but i left sooooo much out. warning: salt n pepa can get a little raunchy, and warren g is pretty gangsta.

when did you come into "musical awareness?" who were some of your favorite musical artists and bands?

cameras, pumpkins, kitty fights, and fall

have you noticed a lack of photos on the blog lately?

that's 'cause my camera is really gone for good now. dropping it didn't work this time like it did last time.

and i officially hate the casio exilim that we got at a pawn shop. the quality cannot compare to my old camera.

the only feature i like on the casio is the old-timey, silent movie feature.

so i made a really silly fall video using that feature and a beautiful song by beirut.

i think the highlight of the video is the kitty fight toward the beginning. some bits are dark...my apologies.

this is a tribute to our fall:

p.s. if you haven't already, make sure to enter the suzannemade giveaway before it's too late.

giveaway from suzannemade!

i've got a giveaway for you today! woo!

my newest sponsor, suzannemade, is giving one of you a $20 gift certificate to her etsy shop.

here are some of the adorable items in her shop:

a darling camera necklace from her hobbies collection:

a sweet pinecone necklace from her autumn collection:

and my personal favorite, a beautiful gold locket:

of course, suzanne makes and sells more than just necklaces. her shop also features beautiful earrings, bracelets, keychains, and much more. i think any of the items in her shop would make fantastic christmas gifts. isn't it scary that we already have to start thinking about christmas gifts?? moving along...

all of her items are one, or two, of a kind, so if you see something you love, be sure to snatch it up!

it wouldn't be a giveaway without rules, so here they are:

the rules:

1. browse through the suzannemade etsy shop, then come back here to tell me something you would buy if you won the $20 gift certificate.

2. if you'd like a second chance to enter, feel free to tweet or blog about this giveaway, then come back here to let me know in a second comment.

3. the giveaway ends at 6:00 pm PST this thursday, so get your comments in before then. i'll be announcing the winner friday morning.

good luck!

p.s. suzanne also writes a cute, little blog called suzyville, in case you're looking for a new blog to read.

my brain's tired & took a little break

oh my gosh.

this week was unbelievable.

i did some of the stupidest things this week.

here are a few examples:

1. on wednesday, i bought a day pass to park at school (i don't usually drive to school so i don't have a regular permit). i forgot to put it in my dash. i got a $50 ticket...with my day parking pass sitting in my glove compartment box.

2. i thought i lost the book that i was supposed to have read for my class today (cosi fan tutte for those of you who care). i had bought it on amazon at the beginning of the semester. i tore the house apart searching for this book. i looked everywhere. finally, i decided that maybe the seller hadn't even sent me the book, so i emailed them to ask. turns out, my order had been cancelled because they were out of stock. the book was never even in my house. that's what i get for procrastinating....hopefully, none of my teachers ever discover this blog.

3. last night, i took a walk down to peet's to get a cup of coffee. when i got back, i discovered that i had locked myself out. of course! why not, right?? fortunately, i had left a window open and was able to get the screen off and climb in.

it was just one of those weeks. it was still a good one though! and now it is friday. oh blessed friday! hope you have a great weekend! don't lock yourself out of anything!

i have worn many hats

for the last month or so, i have been looking back at all the different things i have done & tried throughout my 27 years on this planet.

here's a list.

1. i was on the king koopa show in the first grade.

2. i played volleyball & tennis for my high school. i also hurdled & high jumped.

3. i had a career as a wedding coordinator from the age 0f 20-24 approximately.

4. i have babysat and nannied since i was 10.

5. i got my first job when i was 12 at a concession stand on the beach.

6. i taught preschool dance classes. one of my classes was a group of 8 two year olds. insanity!

7. i frequently stood up at conferences and voiced the position of my country on topics such as female genital mutilation, child hunger, oil, nuclear weapons, and other global issues in model united nations. my high school had a reputation as one of the top three schools in the nation.

8. i worked at a flower shop.

9. i used to serve genuine afternoon tea at a little french tea garden.

10. i sold time share units.

11. i've had jobs at a bike store, jamba juice, and a $15 clothing store...all within walking distance of my house.

12. i worked at a bathing suit store where i sometimes had to walk around in a bikini top and a sarong.

13. i sold makeup at macy's and beautiful clothes at anthropologie.

14. i went to esthetician school FORTY hours a week for 4 months, passed my state board exam, and received my esthetician's license last december.

15. i've worked in the following types of offices: cardiologist, gastroenterologist, optometrist, general practitioner, school district, construction, and web-based vitamin store.

16. i helped start a ministry.

17. i almost finished an education degree.

18. i've accumulated more than 140 college units...still no degree. my major? school.

and after all of this, what have i learned?

i'm not quite sure.

i've learned that i like to try new things and that i haven't really liked any of the hats i've worn enough to keep them on for very long...obviously.

i've learned that i'm kind of embarrassed by my lengthy resume. i feel like it shows a lack of commitment. i look at it and see that i'm restless and haven't really found satisfaction in anything i've tried. it makes me feel like a misfit. i'm like the little elf who wants to be a dentist...except that the little elf knows he wants to be a dentist. i don't really know what i want to be...besides a mom. but it would be nice to maybe make some money in the next two or three child-free years i have left.

right now, i don't have a plan. i don't like not having a plan. i'm a planner. i'm really really good at it...i mean my longest, most successful career to date was as a professional planner, for crying out loud! flying by the seat of my pants makes me really nervous. it makes me feel uneasy and unsettled. it makes me generate ideas for potential plans and goals at rapid speeds . i have honestly considered and researched six different majors this month. one of them was fitness. fitness?? yes, fitness. what would i do with that, you say? i have no idea.

so where does this leave me? it leaves me exactly where i started...which really isn't a very bad place to be. i enjoy my life. i love levi with all my heart. we share an adorable apartment and wake up next to each other every morning. i am going to have his beautiful babies one day, and he fully supports my plan and desire to stay home and raise them. i enjoy school. i get to dance four days a week. i am learning to speak a beautiful language. i'm reading and discussing books with my brilliant literature teacher. i'm working on my backhand. and as far as the finances go - we don't have a lot of money, but we certainly have enough for right now.

so all i can do right now is take my life and live it the best way i know how. i can live each moment with faith and love - faith in the fact that God has a plan for me and that sometimes it's okay for me to fly by the seat of my pants, and love for God, for levi, for myself, for my family, for gretel, for lily, for my neighbors, for my friends, for each and every one of you, for the people in my classes, the people i share a bus with, the people who serve me coffee, the people i see sleeping on the streets, the people going to bed without enough food, the people i see every day, and the people i will never meet, living in countries i will never visit.

i think that's a pretty good plan.

book club

here's an update on the book club!

our first meeting is going to be on friday, 20 november. we're going to have a little coffee shop picnic and discuss the geography of bliss by eric weiner. click this link if you're interested in the book.

feel free to read along. and if you'd like to sign up to join us, please email me:

jasmine.lael@gmail.com

p.s. i'm doing a special holiday rate for sponsor ads right now: november & december for the cost of one month. email me if you're interested.

p.p.s. i'm planning a little, bloggy christmas secret santa...i'll bet a lot of other bloggers have had the same idea, but i don't care! i'll update you with details when christmas gets a bit closer.

p.p.p.s. comments are disabled on this one.

fun with proust, take eight - stacey

i kinda forgot about my proust posts! oops!

i've been a little out of it lately.

anyway, this week we have the adorable stacey here to share her answers and favorite photo with us. stacey writes a cute blog called love and photographs. it's one of my daily reads. i'm also twitter friends with stacey. every time she tweets, i always want to respond to her with a big, giant "ME TOO!"

on to the questions:

1. what is your idea of perfect happiness?

being with my entire family, and husband of course, playing games, laughing at old memories and eating good food. Nothing makes me more happy than my family.

2. what is your most treasured possession?

my wedding ring. my journals. my pictures/cameras. and a lovely picture my nana painted for me.

If there was a fire these would be the items i would choose to save. (but lets hope that never happens)

3. what is your greatest fear?

losing my husband or someone in my family.

4. which talent would you most like to have?

oh a lot... to be a magical photographer, to be a better dancer, oh and to be able to sing...that would be amazing!

5. what or who is the greatest love of your life?

my wonderful husband, Christopher Michael Sargent. I feel so blessed and lucky to wake up next to him every morning. he is magnificent.

6. what is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

ahhh my jealousy. i would give my left arm to get rid of that side of me....im working really hard at it, but man is it difficult!

7. what do you value most in your friends?

that we can go months without seeing each other, but when we do it's like we were together yesterday. i love that about my friends, because i sometimes can get so caught up in my crazy busy life, that I don't see them much, but they love me anyways and never get mad!

ummm, stacey, me too, me too, me too, me too! especially number 7. jealousy is so hard to deal with!

here is stacey's favorite polaroid of herself, taken by her husband, chris:

thanks for playing, stacey!

help!

we are celebrating thanksgiving, with my family, in san francisco this year.

we're trying to find a good restaurant where we can celebrate thanksgiving.

it needs to be:

1.) $30 or less per person (i know, i know. practically impossible in sf)

2.) and in the city.

we don't really care if we eat "thanksgiving" food or not. honestly, i would love a good steak and some mashed potatoes.

any insider tips?

i kinda wish school was cancelled today too...

it's back to school for me today.

i really enjoyed my extra day off.

we spent it:

- finishing off that bag of kit kats that the trick or treaters left me with. stupid delicious kit kats.

- walking through ikea for over an hour and failing to buy anything

- eating see's candy. my favorite (at the moment; it's always changing) is the lemon truffle. yummy. what's your favorite?

- being a little freaked out by the christmas decorations that are already up at south coast plaza. i love christmas, but it seems a little premature. levi is just plain stressed out by this. christmas, in general, stresses him out. i'm not sure that he can take 2 months of it. i am making a silent vow to myself to not mention christmas to him til we get home from our thanksgiving trip to san francisco. but just between us, i've already got about a thousand things planned.

- playing dress up. i think we make pretty cute sharks.

- getting late night in & out vanilla chocolate milkshakes.

sounds like a pretty good day, doesn't it?

it was.

furlough day

i've got myself a day off from school today. woo!

an extra day with levi! yesssss!

so i'll be brief. our halloween included:

- shopping with my momma. so much fun. and she bought me super cute booties!

- no costumes

- a huge bag of mini kit kats. why oh why did no trick-or-treaters come to take them from me?!

- apple & gorgonzola salad and penne pasta with sage & prosciutto from bono's

- trad capp from peet's

- a duggar marathon (we decided that we totally should have dressed up as michelle & jim bob)

- a solo impromptu dance party for a solid 30 minutes. levi just watched me and laughed.

- disney's earth in hd on our gorgeous television at 2:00 in the morning. i sobbed when the wolf got the baby caribou.

- eating almost everything in the house

- staying up til 3:30 in the morning

it was definitely a slumber party halloween and soooo much fun.

(p.s. OH MY GOSH! can you believe that november is here already??)